


i don’t like that anyone would die to feel your touch

by tmylm



Category: Pitch Perfect (Movies)
Genre: F/F, Friends to Lovers, Mutual Pining, Pining, bechloe - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-28
Updated: 2020-12-28
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:14:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28392975
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tmylm/pseuds/tmylm
Summary: Beca doesn't want Chloe to go on dates, but she can't exactly tell herwhy.
Relationships: Chloe Beale/Beca Mitchell
Comments: 20
Kudos: 231





	i don’t like that anyone would die to feel your touch

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Taylor Swift's _Gold Rush_.
> 
> Gif set in end notes.

God, this really is getting so fucking ridiculous now.

It is not like Beca even has the right to care about what Chloe does, much less who she does it with. In fact, up until the beginning of the summer, Beca had a boyfriend—she and Jesse had given it a good shot, a solid chance much longer than Beca has ever held a relationship in the past, but it eventually became much too apparent over the years that Jesse was way more into it than Beca was, so Beca had finally ended things before their junior year—she really had no claim to Chloe Beale. In fact, she _still_ has no claim to Chloe Beale.

Regardless, Beca cannot help that nagging feeling in her gut, the one that rises all the way to her heart and encases it in such a persistent shell of longing every time Chloe so much as enters a room or casually flips those radiant ginger locks over her shoulder.

And Beca has hinted—at least as well as closed off, painfully guarded Beca Mitchell can hint, anyway. She thinks Chloe, generally much less subtle, much more open than she is, has hinted, too. Beca thought it from that very first one-on-one encounter, back in the communal showers during her first week as a Barden University student. As desperately as she tried _not_ to look at the naked stranger entering her cubicle, Beca is only human, she couldn’t exactly keep her gaze the _entire_ way away. Despite the other parts of her body on display, Beca took note of the look in Chloe’s bright eyes as they so easily held her own—a feat in and of itself, considering Beca’s natural aversion to lingering eye contact—the way they seemed to somehow speak to her in a way that had Beca wanting to know more.

Then there was the initiation night, when a clumsy Chloe had stumbled toward her, inebriated and even more carefree than usual. Beca had seen that look in her eyes again, unfocused as they were. She has seen it so many times since then, too.

Beca can recall so many occasions over the course of the past few years she has known Chloe Beale, when it has been just the two of them alone in the Bellas’ house simply working on something as mundane as choreography together—Beca has no interest in that area; she cares much more deeply for the actual musical arrangements—then the two naturally finding themselves curled up on the two-seater, each nursing a glass of Chloe’s favorite wine, and the rest of the world had...melted away. It was just the two of them, safe in their protective bubble, and, in that moment, nothing else seemed to matter.

Chloe is not why Beca broke up with Jesse. Really, she is not. It would be a lie, of course, to say that those significant moments, that undeniable connection, did not at least register in Beca’s mind as something she barely experienced with her now-ex-boyfriend. He deserved more, more than Beca could give him. And Beca knows that she deserves the same.

It is incredibly selfish of her, she knows it is, to think that, now that she has no romantic ties to anybody else, Chloe will simply be waiting around for her. In reality, Beca doesn’t even know that Chloe wants her, too. She likes to think that she does, but she doesn’t specifically _know_. Lingering looks and lazily tangled fingers are not confirmation, no matter how much Beca wants them to be.

Besides, Chloe does not know about Beca’s feelings, anyway.

Unfortunately, Amy does.

It really was not intentional, the way Beca blurted out her awkward crush to her roommate in a particularly drunken haze. Beca had been acting more irritable that day, and Amy had pointed it out. Of course, Amy being Amy meant that Beca simply telling her to leave her alone was not a sufficient enough response. She had proceeded to badger her to the point of eventually calling her an obvious ‘simp’ for Chloe, and Beca had practically choked on her drink. It had been confirmation enough, and Beca had gone on to pour out her unfiltered feelings, something Amy had shrugged and told her was incredibly obvious. Beca could only blush and hope that she was wrong, that whatever Amy had _obviously_ seen hadn’t registered to the other girls. To Chloe, in particular.

So, Beca really has no right to care tonight, to act like a petulant child while Chloe floats around the house getting ready for her third date of the week, despite the fact that it is only Thursday.

She cannot help it, though. Beca is frustrated. She is frustrated, because Chloe should not be going out on dates with people who, in Beca’s opinion, are totally not good enough for her—not that she considers herself that, either—nor caring so much about them that she seems genuinely stressed about perfecting just the right look for the evening. Chloe should be able to read Beca’s mind, she should just _know_ that Beca wants her. She should know that, on some level, Beca has always wanted her, even if she has never explicitly told her so.

Beca knows how unfair it is, how childish and bratty it is, of her to barely look up when Chloe enters the kitchen, evidently flustered and worried about her current outfit choice.

“This dress looks stupid, right?” Chloe half-whines, and Beca can hear the obvious panic behind it. She doesn’t even have to glance toward her to see the desperation in her eyes; she knows it is there.

Stacie seems to pause for a moment, like she is looking her over and making an informed assessment, before eventually responding with a shrug. “I mean, not stupid, you look hot. Not the easiest access, though.”

Beca quietly scoffs at that, gaze glued to her laptop screen. What she is even working on now, she has all but forgotten.

“I’m not going for easy access,” Chloe says, and Beca can perfectly picture the pout on her lips. “But does it seem too… I don’t know, dressy?”

“For Tom?” Jessica pipes up now, ever the voice of reason. “No. Didn’t you two used to date before? I think dressy is fine.”

“I mean, we didn’t exactly _date_ ,” Chloe explains, pausing her flustered daze to briefly lean her elbows onto the countertop of the kitchen island. She is at the opposite side to Beca, but Beca can see her over her laptop screen, see the way her curls are neatly styled and hang in perfect ringlets that Beca knows she will later brush through to something more akin to waves. “We just hooked up and stuff, this would be our first official _date_ -date.”

“Old habits die hard,” Beca grumbles quietly, and practically _feels_ Chloe’s confused yet icy glare burning into her in response.

“Ugh, whatever,” Chloe groans, pushing herself upright again. “I’m gonna change.”

Her prior nervous energy apparently returns, and Chloe is soon disappearing hastily from the room, while Stacie calls after her, “Remember, easy access!”

Beca only rolls her eyes.

“She’s so cute,” Beca hears Jessica happy-sigh. “I wonder why she’s so nervous. She must really like him.”

It is stupid, the fact that the simple comment somehow doesn’t sit well with Beca, and she responds with an unintentionally audible scoff. “He’s a tool. There’s probably a reason all they did was hook up before.”

Someone begins to respond—Ashley, maybe?—but the familiar sound of Chloe’s voice cuts her off, and Beca’s head whips up to see the pointed glare she’d felt before as Chloe’s head sticks around the doorframe. “You don’t even know him, Beca,” she scoffs, though brightens some as she turns her attention toward Jessica, “And I’m nervous because none of these dates seem to be working out. I’m starting to think there’s something wrong with me.”

While Beca shrinks in her seat, she cannot help but feel like a total dick, and not even for her comment. More so, she hates the fact that Chloe would ever even consider the possibility of there being anything even remotely _wrong_ with her. As far as Beca is concerned, Chloe is the nearest humankind has ever come to sheer perfection, she is the epitome of everything that is _right_. Not that she’ll tell her…

And maybe, she realizes, that is the problem.

* * *

Mostly so as not to have to deal with more of the Chloe getting ready to go on a date with someone other than her excitement, Beca grabs her laptop and quickly retreats to her room. She doesn’t feel like being around for Chloe’s eventual big outfit reveal, nor to wave her excitedly out of the door and directly into Tom’s arms. Instead, she goes back to attempting to figure out a new mashup for their next performance, one that will complement all of their voices.

She is deep in half-assed concentration when the door swings open to reveal Chloe in a full face of perfectly applied makeup, hair combed through to create that subtle wave effect Beca had already expected, and of course wearing nothing but a matching lace bra and panties set.

“Beca, what is your problem?” Chloe asks in place of a greeting, and Beca cannot even help but pull her focus from her screen until her eyes are easily drinking in everything that is Chloe, no matter how much she wants to look away. On-display body aside, she is drawn to the annoyed glare overtaking her eyes, and Beca feels herself quietly shrinking beneath it once again.

“What are you talking about?” Beca attempts a little ignorance, eyes moving with force toward her laptop screen. What is even happening on it at this point, Beca truly does not know.

“That thing you said about Tom. You don’t even know him, he’s a really nice person.”

Beca bites back a groan at that, and chooses not to respond in the interest of holding back a bratty comment.

“You know what, you’ve been so mean about all of the people I’ve been out with lately. What is it? Is Jesse the standard, and they don’t measure up to him?”

It is not intentional, the fact that Chloe is right, and that Beca definitely _has_ been a total dick about all of Chloe’s recent dates—the ones before this week included. Of course, Beca can’t tell her why she is so frustrated, so done with Chloe’s evidently desperate attempts to seek out that one perfect person. So, instead, she simply rolls her eyes, though they remain focused on her screen. “Just leave it, Chloe.”

“Leave what?” Chloe questions with narrowed eyes. Again, Beca can feel her glare, she can feel the ice of it piercing like needles into her skin.

Beca wonders if she should respond, if she should literally just come out and tell her that she is jealous. However, as she lifts her head to speak, to finally do so, the words seem to die on her tongue. They leave a bitter taste in her mouth, and Beca swallows it down as she tears her gaze away once more. Suddenly, her laptop screen is _really_ interesting. “Whatever, I’m sorry,” she grumbles in place of an actual explanation. Beca was stupid to think she would’ve gotten that out, anyway. “I won’t make any more comments.” Her voice lowers to an even more petulant grumble. “Enjoy your date with Tom, I’m sure he’s _the one_.”

She thinks Chloe wants to say something, maybe she wants to yell at her. Instead, however, in an uncharacteristic turn of events for Chloe Beale, she says nothing, and simply releases an aggravated groan, before stomping loudly out of the room.

Yet again, Beca feels like a total dick.

* * *

In the time it takes Chloe to finish getting ready for her date, Beca has mentally kicked herself multiple times. She silently replays her own behavior over the last little while like a particularly unpleasant movie reel in her mind, reminds herself that this really is not fair, that Chloe does not deserve Beca’s bitterness—especially when Chloe doesn’t even know where it is coming from.

At some point, Amy appears to plop down quietly on her bed, where she relaxes back comfortably into the pillows and entertains herself with whatever is going on on her phone screen. Beca is willing to bet it somehow involves Bumper, but she chooses not to say so.

There is really no use in Beca continuing to even attempt to concentrate on the mashup, so by the time she hears the clicking of Chloe’s heels leaving her room and heading toward the stairs, where she has to pass Beca and Amy’s room on the way, she has already closed the lid of her laptop, and proceeds to push herself into a seated position on the bed.

Ignoring Amy’s presence, Beca quietly clears her throat, before calling out to a passing Chloe, “Hey, Chloe?”

For a brief moment, Beca thinks she is going to ignore her. She notes the way she takes another step, before apparently thinking better of it, until she is eventually turning her body to acknowledge Beca from the open doorway. She doesn’t speak, though. Instead, she just stares at her, a look resembling what Beca would liken to a mixture of impatience and annoyance on her face. Beca understands it, all things considered.

In spite of herself, Beca pushes a small, apologetic smile to her lips. Her gaze sweeps briefly over Chloe’s chosen attire, but for the most part, she is speaking to her face. “You look really nice.”

Beca ignores the glance she feels from Amy on the other bed.

At first, Chloe does not respond. She seems to mull over the compliment, however, before eventually offering Beca a small nod of her head. She thinks she can see a small hint of a smile, too, but she cannot be sure about that. “I’ll see you later, Bec,” is all she finally says, and Beca takes note of the quieter volume of her voice, the way it makes her seem smaller somehow.

Chloe slowly turns to leave, while Beca sucks back a sigh, gaze falling downward in something akin to defeat.

There is something of a silence in the room following the quieting sound of Chloe’s footsteps, something Beca is not wholly used to when Amy is around. Amy is normally talking loudly on her phone, or just generally bugging Beca with mindless conversation. She doesn’t say anything now, though. Beca doesn’t even hear her long nails tapping against the shiny screen of her phone. All she hears is silence, the deafening kind. At first, anyway.

“You’re being stupid, you know?” Amy finally says in a somewhat quieter register. Quiet for Fat Amy, anyway.

In response, Beca’s brows tug tightly together, gaze instinctively moving toward her roommate. She’d yell at her if the comment wasn’t so true.

Amy lazily drops her phone onto the mattress beside her, before pushing herself upright to hang her legs over the side of the bed. “Just go talk to her, Beca.”

At that, Beca immediately rolls her eyes. “She’s literally going on a date.”

“Exactly,” Amy says with a twist of her lips. “And if she still wants to go after, she’ll go. But I think you’re missing out if you don’t at least give it a shot.”

Beca doesn’t even notice that she has instinctively begun to rise from her spot on the bed. It isn’t until she feels the cushioning of the carpeted floor beneath her bare feet that she glances almost nervously toward Amy, who raises her brows in something that wordlessly tells Beca _exactly_.

Cheeks reddening, something that Beca can feel and that she knows, in turn, will be incredibly obvious, she lets out something of a defensive scoff, but begins shuffling toward the door regardless. “Whatever. I’m going to get a drink,” she lies.

“Yeah, alright,” Amy calls after her, and Beca can hear the sound of the mattress as Amy shifts to make herself comfortable again. The tone of her voice tells Beca she of course does not believe her. “Bring me one.”

It does not take a genius to figure out that Beca is decidedly not going to get a drink, though she is sure that she can use it as an excuse to make herself feel better about her trip down here if Chloe is already gone.

Fortunately, she catches her just as she is closing the front door, and while Beca hesitates for a brief moment, she eventually finds her feet carrying her forward, until she can quickly tug it back open. Chloe whirls around in immediate reaction, brows tugging slightly as her curious gaze lands on Beca. Again, Beca feels herself shrinking beneath it, despite the fact that there is no malice to it this time. Chloe simply looks at her expectantly, and Beca sucks in her cheeks in thought.

“So, uh, here’s the thing,” she begins, and mentally kicks herself for what a lame opening it is.

Evidently, she doesn’t have anything better just yet, because after a brief silence, Chloe urges her with a soft, “Yeah?”

Beca sucks in a deep breath, and registers the way it shakes slightly. It makes her feel kind of pathetic, and she cannot help the small chuckle she puffs out in response. “Don’t go,” she finally says, nervous gaze moving upward to seek out Chloe’s. She fully expects it to convey the same annoyance it had upstairs. It is kind of cold out, but that is not why Beca begins to rub at her arm; it is more so just a self-comfort thing. “On your date, I mean. Or, uh, I guess I can’t stop you, if you want to go then you should totally still go. I just, uh…” she trails off with a pathetic, quiet sounding, “I don’t want you to.”

There is a notable pause then, a silence between them as Beca stares up at Chloe with her teeth sinking into her bottom lip, and watches the way Chloe seems to study her for a moment.

“Why?” Chloe finally questions, and Beca knows that she should’ve been expecting it, that Chloe would of course want an actual explanation, but it still somehow catches her off guard. Beca immediately freezes up, so Chloe continues gently, “Is it because you don’t like Tom?” She pauses, before adding in that same gentle tone, “Or is it because you want me, Bec?”

It seems that, for the most part, Beca is still somehow frozen. Save for her feet shuffling awkwardly on the spot, she merely looks up at Chloe through her lashes, and hopes that she’ll figure out the answer for herself. Chloe, of course, only looks at her expectantly, wide eyes trained on Beca’s face, so Beca finds it in herself to stammer out a quiet, “Uh, the second one.”

Although Chloe is still staring, still looking at Beca in a way that makes Beca feel so terrified yet somehow so comforted, just because it is Chloe, she seems to eventually soften.

“Yeah,” Beca awkwardly says, another small chuckle puffing free as her gaze drops from Chloe’s face, and instead draws down toward her feet. “Like I said, though, if you want to go on your date, then you should. I know you said none of them have been working out before now, but maybe that’s because…” she shakes her head, effectively cutting herself off. “You should still—”

That is as much as she manages, though, because before Beca can finish her sentence, her half-hearted insistence that Chloe doesn’t have to listen to her, and that she is being stupid in even telling her any of this, Chloe has taken a step forward, and Beca feels cold fingers settling beneath her chin. She glances upward with Chloe’s guidance in time for her lids to flutter shut just as Chloe’s lips, soft and somehow familiar in spite of the fact that Beca has never actually experienced them against her own before, press a soft, tender kiss to Beca’s.

Beca is almost positive that she is dreaming, that this turn of events cannot actually be real. She cannot really be feeling Chloe Beale’s lips on her own, the fingers previously resting beneath her chin falling to instead cup at Beca’s rosy cheek. But, somehow, she is. She is feeling it, she is actually, really experiencing it, and Beca’s jaw slackens slightly as Chloe eventually pulls away. Her hand remains in place on Beca’s cheek, pad of her thumb stroking over the reddening skin, and Beca simply stares up at her with wide, confused eyes.

“You know I want you too, right?” Chloe says in a soft voice, shimmering eyes now searching Beca’s. It is no surprise that she speaks with the most confidence of the two, but there is still something of a quiet volume to her words. “Bec, I’ve… I’ve been wanting you. But you were with Jesse, and then it just didn’t seem like it was going to happen. But I’ve been right here.”

Again, Beca is still not entirely convinced that she is actually conscious. Not only had Chloe not pushed her away, but she had literally _kissed_ her, and now she is telling Beca all of the things she has been wanting to hear. She is telling her that she is here, that she wants her, too. Honestly, Beca doesn’t know how to process the information. She knows how lame she seems, simply standing here and gawking the way she is, but it is a lot to take in, a lot that she truly never expected, despite wanting it so badly.

“Are you...going to say something?” Chloe finally breaks the moment of silence, and Beca’s gaze drops to her lips to see the amused smile Chloe is attempting to bite back.

“Yeah, uh,” Beca clears her throat, finally finding her voice. “Sorry, yeah. I’m just—” she pauses, nose wrinkling in thought. “You want me, too? You… Chloe Beale…”

Chloe responds with a quiet chuckle, and Beca cannot help but study the way her eyes crinkle at the corners, the already vibrant blue color suddenly brightening somehow. “Yeah,” she nods, “I do. You know I do.”

The clarification is no easier to digest, but in spite of herself, Beca feels the way her previously shocked expression naturally melts into something of a more bashful one. The corners of her lips, still tingling from the feeling of Chloe’s unexpected kiss, curve into a small smile that she cannot even try to bite back. “Okay,” she finally nods, “Uh, cool.”

At that, Chloe cannot help a more audible giggle. Her hand falls from Beca’s cheek, but easily captures Beca’s in passing, and their fingers hook through the gaps in one another’s in the most normal, natural way. Like they are meant to be there, like they are supposed to fit together the way they do.

“Very cool,” Chloe agrees, shooting Beca a playful wink. Playful or not, of course, Beca’s heart flutters at the very sight.

A part of Beca feels bad still. She feels bad for making Chloe feel like shit earlier, and somewhere deep down, she kind of feels bad for Tom, too. He was just about to go on a date with the most incredible woman Beca is sure he has ever had the pleasure of meeting, and Beca has swooped in and taken that away from him. Chloe won’t be going anymore, right?

God, Beca really fucking hopes not.

Almost as if reading her mind, as if to solidify the fact that this is real, that it is really, actually happening, Chloe ducks her head to push a fuller, more lingering kiss to Beca’s lips. It is easier this time for Beca to return it, now that she can finally feel her body again.

It totally sucks for Tom, but selfishly, as her lips move against Chloe’s, body naturally finding its way to press up against the familiarity that is Chloe Beale, Beca can safely say she has truly never felt more relieved.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Here's the [original gif set](https://chloebeale.tumblr.com/post/638710179706306560/bechloe-au-chloe-has-been-stressing-about-her), and you can find me [here](https://chloebeale.tumblr.com)!


End file.
